There Will Be Blood, or should I say, There Will Be Boredom?

I was appalled that this film got nominated for an academy award for best direction and best adapted screenplay, though I take a small comfort that it won neither. Why do I hate this film so much you ask? Well, let’s get started.

Mistake number one: never ever start a film with a chore. Ever. Most films that a proper writer takes the time to think through begin with an opening metaphor. If that was the case here, then what Paul Thomas Anderson is telling us in his opening metaphor is that this film is indeed a chore. (Which it is, to watch.) No voice over, no dialogue, no music, just a guy with a pickaxe. Within 30 seconds of the start of this film I wanted to put my foot through the screen.

Looking it up on the ever faithful imdb, I’m troubled to see it’s hovering at 29^th in the top 250. But the majority rules. Often I feel this is more a reflection of how other people feel they should react to a film which is considered to be “art,” much in the same way that “Voice of Fire” a painting of three stripes could be considered art worth millions, or say, like in the fairytale, the emperor’s new clothes. Nobody wants to appear a fool, so everyone claims to understand it, even though, clearly, no one does. Then again, that’s probably why I’m an atheist, but I digress.

The film’s repetitive soundtrack sounds like an orchestra being strangled, and then released, and then strangled, and then released. No, that might have sounded better.

To the film’s defense, the cinematography is fine. Not fantastic, but perfectly fine, and the actors are fine, given there isn’t a lot of emotion or drama throughout the film. There’s hardly a moment anyone raises their voice, making the film rather monotonous, really. And there’s really nothing I can say against the actual production value of the film, soundtrack aside.

And I’d hate to ruin the ending for you, so if you insist on watching this abomination despite my warnings, by all means, don’t take my word for it. The ending ruins itself.

I give this film 2 stars, out of respect for Daniel Day-Lewis, and the rest of the cast, as well as the cinematographer and the rest of the crew. At least they tried. Anderson gets 1 star.