Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (3½ Stars)

Johnnie Rico, hero from the first movie, returns to the battlefront in an attempt to win a fight against not only more bugs, but alien infiltration at the Federation’s highest ranks.

The special effects, combat, and dialogue are all in par with the rest of the series, which is good. This doesn’t feel like a watered down version of the first film, which was unfortunately the case with Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation.

Further than just cool space action and special effects, Starship Troopers 3: Marauder brings back the satirical essence of the original, this time focusing its sardonic humor on religion.

Well worth watching. Heck, I’d even recommend making a day of it and watching all three if you haven’t already. You know, if there’s nothing (or no one) better to do. It’s good sci-fi. 3½ stars

Big Trouble in Little China (3½ Stars)

Jack Burton, a tough-talking, soft-hearted trucker gets pulled into a conflict with ancient Chinese mystical forces led by an ancient demigod known as Lo Pan.

I simply loved the main character. He’s like Indiana Jones without the education, and he talks like John Wayne. He offers his hand at combat, even though he’s not much of a fighter. That’s what so lovable about Jack Burton. He’s arrogant and a screw-up, but he’s a nice guy and he wants to help his friends, even though he doesn’t really know how. Luckily, he’s got a few friends at his side who know how to kick-ass, Ancient Chinese Mystic style.

Campy, ridiculous, and fun – 3½ stars

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (3½ Stars)

Several weeks after their last adventure to eat copious amounts of mini-burgers, this odd couple boards their flight to Amsterdam. But when Kumar’s makeshift bong is mistaken for a bomb, Harold and Kumar are sent to Guantanamo Bay, from which they immediately escape and go on yet another wild adventure, where they meet up with an old friend (Neil Patrick Harris, as a himself, albeit a sexaholic, dope-fiend version of himself, but lovable nonetheless), meet a cyclops, crash a KKK cross burning, and even smoke a dube with the president.

There’s not much else I can say about this movie, for or against it. It’s got a decent cast, with some decent, albeit lewd and somewhat racist humor. It is in par with Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, so see that first, and if you enjoy it, see this one too. 3½ stars

The Love Guru (4½ Stars)

When the Toronto Maple Leafs’ star hockey player Darren Roanoke loses his girlfriend to the French Canadian Goalie on the opposing team, their owner, Jane Bullard seeks out The Love Guru to see if he can get Roanoke and his girlfriend back together so her team can finally win the Stanley Cup, which they haven’t won in 40 years.

This is with a doubt, one of the funniest, tightest comedies of the summer. It is clear that Mike Myers and Graham Gordy put a lot of time into the script to make sure the jokes and timing were just right.

Many critics have been giving this movie a hard time, and it isn’t clear to me why, because this is very much in the same line of comedy as the Wayne’s World and Austin Powers movies. In fact, I would say it’s even better, in terms of its comedic timing, and overall originality. The film is filled to the brim with jokes – the film is almost literally exploding with humor, and if you’re Canadian, it’s even funnier. Great cast, too. Particularly enjoyable are Guru Pitka’s repartees with Ben Kingsley as the guru Tugginmypudha, and Verne Troyer (you know, that little guy from the Austin Powers movies), as Leafs Coach Punch Cherkov.

Anyway, my hat’s off to you Mike, for this excellent comedy. I laughed my ass off. My one criticism is that it was too short. (That’s what she said!) But then again, it’s not the length of your movie that matters, it’s the noises you get your audience to make with it.

Oh, and to all you no-talent hacks out there who couldn’t make it as filmmakers, so now you crap all over comedians deserving of actual careers, a message:

Stop

Undermining

Comedy

Kings!

Be

Aloof!

Laugh!

Lastly,

Shut-up!

Hairspray (4½ Stars)

In Baltimore, 1962, Tracy Turnblad A short and plump high-school girl who dreams of being a dancer on a popular song and dance show, the Corny Collins show, gets her chance when another dancer on the show rather indiscreet 9-month leave of absence. But when her dream comes true, she realizes that it’s about more than just her chance, and she joins in a revolution to get white people and black people dancing together on television.

To be honest, I haven’t seen the original 1988 version, but I was quite impressed by this one, particularly by the performance of Nikki Blonsky as the adorable, plump, and ever-positive star of the film. She seems to have literally come out of nowhere, to star in her first film, and a musical at that, and wow, can she ever dance! Christopher Walken as the practical-joker-dad, and John Travolta as the shy and reclusive mom are also very entertaining, and Elijah Kelley had some pretty sweet moves. And of course, Michelle Pfeiffer was excellent as the despicable, racist, will-do-anything-to-win villain. The songs are clever, and humorous, and the dance numbers are really well choreographed and rehearsed.

I would recommend this to everyone, but especially to overweight girls who feel inferior to all the twiggy Barbie-doll clones out there. This might inspire you. Come and see Nikki Blonsky and Queen Latifah blow those skinny bitches out of the water. Brilliant musical – 4½ Stars