Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (3 Stars)

Jack Black and Kyle Gass meet in Venice Beach, where together they become Tenacious D and quest to find the “pick of destiny.”

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny has a lot of cool music and funny surreal sequences. The story is campy and unoriginal, and it seems that style and shameless self-promotion are the two driving forces in this film. Gass is very awkward on the screen, and seems to be badly lacking the experience required to play such an important role. Either they should’ve got him an acting coach, or they should’ve brought in Owen Wilson, or one of their other buddies to play KG.

Forgettable, but funny – 3 Stars

Strange Wilderness (2½ Stars)

A wilderness show’s team ventures out into the Andes to find Bigfoot in the hopes that their new footage will keep their asinine program on the air.

Strange Wilderness has to be the stupidest movie I’ve seen since Decoys, but at least it’s funny. The movie knows how stupid it is, and I found myself laughing often enough.

Like Strange Brew, but in the wilderness. Or to put it another way, it’s a lot like the Office, but without the office, or smart people. This film is probably best suited to be watched by druggies and stoners. The film is stupid, but it passes as watchable. It’s funny. 2½ Stars.

I Am Sam (4½ Stars)

Sam, a mentally handicapped man with the mental capacity of a 7-year-old faces a custody battle over his 7-year-old daughter.

I Am Sam is a very sad, very beautiful and touching film, and when my sister and I watched this today, we found ourselves easily drawn into the touching, caring mind of the protagonist. Though he’s mentally retarded, the character Sam is actually hyper-sensitive to human emotion, and I found it very effective that he could point out hurt caused by others, that is perhaps not intended, the sort of hurt we tend to cause one another day by day because of desensitization and stress. Particularly to a screenwriter, Sam is in many ways the ultimate protagonist, because of unwavering moral integrity. He is morally strong, and in all other ways weak, including mentally, but you tell he’s intelligent enough to quickly get the important things.

The acting is phenomenal. Sean Penn gives a very convincing, very well-studied depiction of a man with autism. Michelle Pfeiffer is wonderful, particularly in one scene where she breaks down completely. Dakota Fanning is amazing. I’m always impressed when someone so young can act so well, when most kids are horribly awkward on camera. Laura Dern and Diane Wiest also deserve an honorable mention for their outstanding performances, as do all the mentally challenged friends. And of course the performances are really nothing without an outstanding script, so really, good work all around.

I’m really not doing this film justice by mindlessly praising it. If you haven’t seen it, see it. It’s one of the best dramas I’ve seen in a long time. 4½ Stars

Live Free or Die Hard (4 Stars)

Detective John McClane rescues a hacker from an arranged hit, and together the two of them stop an internet terrorist from destroying the US economy.

Live Free or Die Hard brings more explosions and coolers death than ever before seen in the series. In what other movie could you say you’ve seen a man knocked out of a helicopter by the spray from a car running over a fire hydrant, a helicopter being demolished by a jumping car, with a hero who’s willing to shoot through himself to kill the bad guy?

Though the plot has its share of implausibilities, the script is tight, and hey, it’s an action movie, give it a break. Bruce Willis and Justin Long have great screen chemistry together in the film too. The kidnapping in act 3 made the film feel a bit too formulaic, but to be fair. Cute ending too, and Kevin Smith has a cool little role in the film. Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Maggie Q are hot. Timothy Olyphant is Timothy Olyphant. ‘Nuff said.

Worth checking out: Higher caliber than your average action film – 4 Stars

Coyote Ugly (3½ Stars)

A young waitress from Jersey moves to the big apple to pursue her dreams of becoming a singer/songwriter. Along the way she befriends a fishmonger who helps her on her way, and winds up working the legendary dance bar the film is named after.

It’s a wonder they called it Coyote Ugly, since the bar itself is really only a small portion of the film. “Jersey Girl” would be a better title, though I guess that one’s taken.

The pacing is good, the ladies are hot, and there are some very charming moments between characters, particularly between the main character and her father, played by John Goodman. The fact that all the main character needed to get over was a little stage fright was a bit silly, and the movie wraps up a little to easily, but, it’s a feel-good movie, so that’s to be expected. See it if you want. 3½ Stars

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (2½ Stars)

This prequel reenacts the events leading to David Lynch’s popular TV series Twin Peaks. Laura Palmer, a teenage community sweetheart is haunted by visions of an evil spirit who enters her room at night, rapes her, and finally foretells of a night of torrid affairs where she will be bound, raped and possessed by the evil spirit “Bob.”

While the structure, script, and acting are all very good, viewers who are unfamiliar with the TV series will have trouble following the film, and those who’ve seen the show will be bored by it. This is the problem with prequels, particularly when the whole fun of the TV show was FBI Agent Dale Cooper’s rigorous, brilliant and suspenseful unraveling of the mystery of Laura Palmer’s murder. If you see the prequel first, it ruins the fun of the show, and if you see the show first, the prequel film is boring, despite the bondage and sex. Oh, and one of the main actresses from the TV series couldn’t return for the prequel. The replacement is so awful it’s a wonder Lynch didn’t simply write her out of the film. Cooper and fellow agent Albert Rosenfield are nothing more than cameos in the film.

Lynch is a top-notch director, in my top five for sure. It’s a shame he didn’t make this film a finale to the series rather than a half-assed prequel. Ah well, not all ideas are winners. Don’t go out of your way to see this, but it’s watchable – 2 ½ stars

Into the Wild (3½ Stars)

Based on a true story, Christopher McCandless, a slightly deranged, passionate, positive university graduate gives up his worldly possessions to journey “into the wild.” Along the way, he bonds with nomads, hippies and wage slaves alike.

Into the Wild is very much a road movie, and like many of its sixties predecessors, the story develops more by a succession of relationships, rather than by the development of one or two constant relationships throughout. Of course, such is life.

The scenery is excellent, though I found the music a bit too pseudo-nostalgic for my taste. The casting was spot on, and Emile Hirsch gives an amazing performance. The film is a bit long, but it’s worth seeing once. 3½ stars

Dan in Real Life (4 stars)

An advice columnist finds himself torn between the tension of “family first” and “true love” during a week-end family retreat, where he falls in love with his brother’s fiancée.

Excellent farce with some very funny scenes, as well as a lovable main character who clearly needs to reevaluate his understanding of parenting. Great script – 4 stars

The Breakfast Club (4½ stars)

Five high school students from five corners of the student world convene at their high school for an eight-hour Saturday detention. Each of them come to terms with their own troubles as they bond, hopefully for the better.

Wow, here’s a cool concept – a movie with five protagonists. I suppose if you really had to pick one, it’d be John Bender, but all five of them have their own unique backstory, and they all learn from each other, helping one another deal with their teen issues. (These are mostly issues imposed by their parents.)

Though each of the five students is essentially a typical high-school stereotype, (the jock, the preppy geek, the troublemaker, the beauty queen, and the weirdo – you know, the chick who never talks and eats her snot – that one. Incidentally she was my favorite character), all five of them are three dimensional characters.

I wasn’t quite satisfied with the ending; I found the film ended rather abruptly, and I wouldn’t have minded seeing Hughes explore the outcomes of the characters. Then again, there are merits to keeping an open-ended ending too. It gets people talking more.

There are some really great scenes and dialogue in this film. 4½ stars

Hot Fuzz (4½ stars)

London’s finest cop is sent to work the streets of a small town when his superiors decide his intimidating arrest record makes the rest of the precinct look bad. Paired up with the small town’s buffoon cop, he stumbles upon a sinister plot of murder and corruption, turning into the biggest and most important case of his career.

What I love so much about the films made by Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and their team is that though they make relentless fun of a genre with each film, the films are not, strictly speaking, parody. Hot Fuzz is an original story in its own right that makes fun of every aspect of the buddy cop action genre, while takings its own story seriously.

Lots of laughs, as well as over-the-top action and explosions – 4½ stars

The Ten (3 stars)

The Ten is actually ten shorter stories, one for each of the Ten Commandments. Among the stories are the second coming of Jesus Christ, a skydiving gone horribly wrong, and a naked Sunday fun day. The stories vary in their degrees of funniness.

Overall, it isn’t as funny as you'd think given the sheer number of talented comedians among the cast. Some of the segments are great; The CT scan machine segment with Liev Schreiber and Joe Lo Truglio had me in stitches, but overall the film is pretty forgettable. It’s basically as good as a night of watching Saturday Night Live, but before it started to suck.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (3½ stars)

A day in the life of the high school slacker. Ferris sets up a complicated scheme to blow the day off school and takes his girlfriend and his best friend on a wild adventure in the city.

This is pretty standard of John Hughes movies, lots of laughs, a lovable hero, a sympathetic friend, and a contemptible antagonist, played by Jeffrey Jones.

The film is a little dated, but the pacing is good. 3½ stars

Hitman (3½ stars)

A man with no name, born into a life of organized killing, tracks down the people responsible for setting him up. Based on the Eidos video game series of the same name.

As far as action adaptations go, I’d put Hitman in the same caliber class as The Bourne Identity and its sequels. The action is well choreographed, the acting and music are up to standard, the script and plot are good, but nothing special. All things considered, this film delivers exactly what you would expect from an action film, and perhaps a tiny bit more.

What do I mean by a tiny bit more? Every good film needs a good relationship, and the relationship between Agent 47 and Mika is cute, in a funny-charming sort of way, which made me smile a few times throughout the film.

Excellent action film – 3½ stars

Suspiria (2½ stars)

A young woman enrolls in a ballet school, only to discover that a coven of witches has been claiming the lives of numerous girls such as herself.

I have mixed feelings about this movie. On one hand, it has a brilliant soundtrack, and amazing cinematography. On the other hand, the dialogue is terrible, and the story is quite tedious and dull. The film would have been all right if it had only concentrated more on the gore and less on the stink-o story. Often horror films can sabotage themselves by trying to appear intelligent when they’re clearly not.

The film is watchable. 2½ stars

Run Fatboy Run (4 stars)

An overweight, out-of-shape security guard vows to compete in an upcoming charity run across London. He’s been running all his life from commitment, leaving the pregnant mother of his child at the altar. Now it’s time to prove he can run in the right direction.

With every film I see him in, I’m becoming more and more of a Simon Pegg fan. His portrayal of Dennis (the lead) is brilliant. Hank Azaria and Dylan Moran are also brilliant.

This is very much an underdog story, with plenty of slapstick comedy and embarrassing moments.

What I like so much about this film is that though it is structurally a comedy, (and frankly, the turnaround of Whit in act 3 comes as a bit of a deus ex machina), it holds very close to its theme, and treats it with the seriousness it deserves.

4 stars

War, AKA Rogue Assassin (1½ stars)

An FBI man, (Jason Statham), seeks revenge against the assassin that killed his partner, (Jet Li).

I wasn’t expecting much when I saw this film, which I saw mainly because I’m a Jason Statham fan, and a degree of respect for Jet Li’s martial arts abilities too. The film managed to offend even what little expectations I had. There wasn't nearly enough action; instead they flooded the movie with plot. This is fine when you have an interesting plot, but when you have a stupid plot that makes no sense, you’re just making your audience gag. The dialogue is terrible, and the plot is a combination of derived trash, and nonsensical plot twists.

And, as much as I hate to spoil the ending of a movie, in this case it really shouldn’t matter. It turns out the hero is actually the villain, and the villain is actually the hero. When you do that at the end of your movie, you completely alienate your audience, leaving them hating you, and not caring about your stupid movie and the ending you thought was clever, but was actually just plain mean.

1½ stars

Decoys (½ star)

Sexy female aliens invade a Canadian university in an attempt to procreate or their race is doomed. Unfortunately, the men they sleep with seem to die before they can properly impregnate them.

Decoys (2004) might just be the worst film of all time, and has likely stunted the careers of everyone involved by a decade or two. The actors, who really did try their best, could not save this stink-o script, nor could the special effects.

There is a backstory between a female cop, and the main character who had slept with her some years before. He’s supposed to be seventeen when the film is set. How creepy is that? And it adds nothing to the plot, it has nothing to do with the plot. It’s just filler crap.

The film’s attempt at one-liners, (like “baby got backup”), made me want to barf all over my popcorn, and then still eat it to keep my mind of the gag-inducing dialogue.

Some people defend this movie by saying it has scantily clad hotties in it. Guess what? So does most porn, which has more boobs, and is better written, even when they’re adlibbing, and one or both of them are retarded.

When you see a horror film and the only thing...(read more) that makes you cringe is the dialogue, you're watching a half-star film.

There is a sequel to this film, and I can only imagine it gets better. You’d have to be some kind of genius to make a film worse than this.

½ a star, and a deep sense of condolences for the actors, particularly Richard Burgi.

Oliver and Company (4 stars)

A kitten tries to find a home for himself in the mean streets of New York City.

The characters are a lot of fun, particularly those voiced by Dom DeLuise, Cheech Marin, and Roscoe Lee Brown.

What makes this film such an excellent watch for both adults and kids is the air-tight pacing of the story, (the plot isn’t quite air-tight – normally you can’t get a cat, name it, get a custom engraved dish, along with a collar complete with home address, and go for a horse carriage ride all in one day, although I suppose it is theoretically possible), along with the “heart” that Fagin, Jenny, and the animals all seem to have. The villain is actually quite frightening, and it’s very sweet how it pulls the other characters closer together.

4 stars

Paprika (4½ stars)

A cop, his therapist, and the inventors of a device that allows therapists to enter people’s dreams, must track down a stolen prototype before it is used to turn everyone’s reality into a living nightmare.

Satoshi Kon is a master of story telling, and this film is visually stunning and bizarre.

Susumu Hirasawa made the music, and what I’ve said of Kon’s visual talents, they would be equally matched by Hirasawa’s musical genius.

My one criticism of the film is that it has two completely different simultaneous A-plots, which, while connected through the Paprika character, are not both necessary to tell the story. In fact, it could easily have been two movies. I would certainly have watched both.

I give Paprika 4½ stars.

The Day After Tomorrow (2 stars)

The day before yesterday, I saw The Day After Tomorrow. All jokes aside, this film was a huge flop. Here’s why.

A climatologist predicts a sudden ice age, and takes a team to New York City to rescue his son.

While this truly is a great idea, the script was idiotic, unscientific, clichéd, and had terrible dialogue. You know you've reached the rock bottom of derived trash when somebody cuts themself lose to save their friend while climbing. This isn't even a climbing movie for Christ sake! And at one point in the film, during a huge press conference, the climatologist tried to explain that rapid cooling effect bay saying, “basically it’s just gonna stop.” No explanation, no nothing. It’s like the screenwriters just gave up, or maybe didn’t think this little detail was terribly important.

The film is watchable, but I can’t give it a passing grade. Sorry, guys. 2 stars

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (5 Stars)

Arthur Dent makes a narrow escape from planet Earth when it is unexpectedly demolished. Along with his long-time friend and intergalactic travel guide writer, a nice girl Arthur once met at a party and totally blew it with, a two-headed intergalactic president who kidnapped himself, and a manic depressive robot named Marvin, Arthur travels across the universe, trying to make sense of what became of his home.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005) is the best adaptation of the book series, and a great final tribute to Douglas Adams’ career. I think it’s such a shame that such a brilliant and funny writer died so young. Then again, I suppose it is always a shame when someone dies young.

The screenplay itself was also written by Adams, and is filled with new characters and plot devices, though the original theme, charm, and main characters remain the same. His additions to the story really complete it as a film, and wrap the story up quite nicely, where there had been aperture before. The third act is completely new, and a brilliant conclusion to the film.

Whether you’re a fan of Douglas Adams or not, this is one sci-fi comedy you shouldn’t miss. I could watch this many times over. Douglas Adams, I salute you! 5 stars

THR3E (1½ stars)

Have you seen Adaptation? If so, do you remember that movie pitch Donald Kaufman gives Charlie, about the cop, the criminal and the girl all being one and the same person? (“Isn’t that fucked up?”) Well, somebody actually made that movie, and called it THR3E.

This movie is terrible. The dialogue is clunky, on-the-nose, and just plain bad. The actors really can’t get into their roles, and frankly, I don’t blame them. The characters don’t make sense. The officers don’t seem to understand law enforcement. The story is ridiculous, and not in a funny way, but rather a really stupid, you-feel-dumber-for-having-watched-this kind of way.

And then there’s the ending – wow, the ending. It’s so ridiculous it actually makes the whole experience worthwhile. I’m dead serious. I’m actually glad I bore with this movie through to the end, because I’ve never seen anything quite like it. I never would have imagined an idea this idiotic could actually make it into the big screen. It put a smile on my face. It really did.

Even though I’m glad I saw this movie, I can’t respectably give it a passing grade. 1½ star(s)

The Darjeeling Limited (3½ stars)

Three brothers meet on a train one year after their father’s funeral, in an attempt to re-bond.

The characters are charming, and the little fights that break out throughout the film are familiar to those who know sibling rivalry, but entertainingly so. The eldest, middle and youngest brother all play their roles very well. The setting is also quite enchanting.

The film is just the right length, given that it seems to be largely about the characters coming to terms with backstories you don't really get to see.

I wouldn’t go out of your way to see this movie, but it’s good. 3½ stars.

Sixteen Candles (4 stars)

A girl’s sixteenth birthday is completely overshadowed by her older sister’s wedding. Feeling ignored and forgotten, she focuses on a crush she has on a jock at the high school, while trying to avoid the advances of a geek named Farmer Ted.

It’s easy to see why John Hughes is considered by some to be the king of 80’s movies. Though the film is a little dated in its sense of style and music, its over-the-top use of music as well as richly layered situational humor filled mainly with shallow 2-dimensional characters is quite enjoyable.

The treatment of Long Duk Dong, (yes, they named him after a poultry penis), is perhaps a little too racist at times, but overall I’d say he makes a cute and funny addition to the story.

Also, this is a nice opportunity to see what John and Joan Cusack looked like when they were super young and in bit parts.

4 stars

The Good Night (4 Stars)

A musician who never quite made it to the big time and living in a near-dead relationship begins dreaming about a fantasy girl. He consults an expert on lucid dreaming to see just how much of this recurring dream he can control.

Simon Pegg is brilliant as the philandering friend, having a mid-life crisis of his own. Excellent cast. Fantastic soundtrack, too.

I think what this film does is quite admirable. Like a dream, some ideas flow into the next, and others do not. This is part of the point Sometimes he realizes he is dreaming when he once thought he was awake. Some of the film is jarring, some of it is sweet, and the breakdowns of the two romantic relationships in the film should feel very familiar to most of you. The dialogue is very raw and real. The dreams, and even the colors during the dreams are very surreal. It makes a nice contrast.

My hats off to Jake Paltrow for his brilliant execution of a terrifically thought-out screenplay. 4 stars.

The Golden Compass (4 stars)

Genre: Fantasy. In a world where the human soul exists outside the body in the form of an animal, (called daemons), a young girl is given a golden compass that will be the key to unlocking a rift between parallel worlds. Among other things, the film features airships, gypsies, witches, a cowboy, and talking armored polar warbears.

This movie is grade A eye candy. I was quite impressed by the CGI. My personal favorites were the polar bears and the facial expressions of the daemons when they are cats. The main character’s daemon, Pantalaimon, is particularly lovable.

The actors’ performances are excellent, as is the soundtrack.

The story is a little watered down, but still very well depicted. This is a common side effect of adaptation, so this isn’t necessarily a criticism.

The fact that I have little else to say about it, having just finished watching it leads me to the conclusion that it’s between a 3½ and 4 star film, but again, those CGI are wicked cool, so, 4 stars. It’s certainly an above average film.

Shopgirl (4 Stars)

A few weeks ago, Shopgirl (2005) was on TV, and with nothing better to watch, the group of us bore with it while playing Scrabble on a lazy Sunday evening. At the time I ranked it at about 3 stars, maybe 3½. But I keep thinking about it. At the time, and for time to time ever since, I can’t shake how familiar all of it feels.

A lonely, and somewhat bored shopgirl begins a relationship with, well, someone like me, an aimless and somewhat naïve young man. And then she is courted by a much older man, who is very much the opposite. Wealthy, and the opposite of idealistic. Both are handsome, and gentle, but neither of them quite treat her as well as she perhaps deserves.

The three main performers in this film are excellent, as is the soundtrack. The film can feel like a music video at times, but it’s good music.

Generally I find Steve Martin’s works are better when he doesn’t try to be artsy, and just goes with what he does best, comedy. But a lot of what Martin says about these sorts of relationships made sense to me. It turns out I saw a little of myself in both male characters, something he no doubt needed to get out himself when he wrote the book. Sometimes we don’t realize how we truly feel about a woman until she’s gone.

I salute this film not as comedy or romance, (which it certainly has its share of too), but as art.

4 Stars: I wouldn’t watch it again, but it’s worth going out of your way to see once.

12 Angry Men (1957)

I got my hands on copy of this and finally watched it this morning.

Here’s the synopsis: 12 jurors deliberate after a long murder trial, knowing that the life of the accused hangs on their unanimous decision. This film is about the hours they spend making that decision.

The dialogue is a little dated, and those of you who are well versed in court proceedings may find the dialogue and story a tad simplistic, but even so, the struggle between anger and poise, and the tension between certainty and uncertainty make this film a philosophical masterpiece.

The twelve characters all have a different perspective to bring to the table, coming from different backgrounds, and the film actually seems to be far ahead of its time, with such a strong theme of tolerance and respect. There are still a number of people nowadays who might see a little of themselves in the less tolerant characters, though hopefully only a little, so that they’re still gracious enough to see it.

I’d say this film was well written, ahead of it’s time, well paced and not at all boring, which is quite a feat given that it all takes place in one room.

4 stars.

There Will Be Blood, or should I say, There Will Be Boredom?

I was appalled that this film got nominated for an academy award for best direction and best adapted screenplay, though I take a small comfort that it won neither. Why do I hate this film so much you ask? Well, let’s get started.

Mistake number one: never ever start a film with a chore. Ever. Most films that a proper writer takes the time to think through begin with an opening metaphor. If that was the case here, then what Paul Thomas Anderson is telling us in his opening metaphor is that this film is indeed a chore. (Which it is, to watch.) No voice over, no dialogue, no music, just a guy with a pickaxe. Within 30 seconds of the start of this film I wanted to put my foot through the screen.

Looking it up on the ever faithful imdb, I’m troubled to see it’s hovering at 29^th in the top 250. But the majority rules. Often I feel this is more a reflection of how other people feel they should react to a film which is considered to be “art,” much in the same way that “Voice of Fire” a painting of three stripes could be considered art worth millions, or say, like in the fairytale, the emperor’s new clothes. Nobody wants to appear a fool, so everyone claims to understand it, even though, clearly, no one does. Then again, that’s probably why I’m an atheist, but I digress.

The film’s repetitive soundtrack sounds like an orchestra being strangled, and then released, and then strangled, and then released. No, that might have sounded better.

To the film’s defense, the cinematography is fine. Not fantastic, but perfectly fine, and the actors are fine, given there isn’t a lot of emotion or drama throughout the film. There’s hardly a moment anyone raises their voice, making the film rather monotonous, really. And there’s really nothing I can say against the actual production value of the film, soundtrack aside.

And I’d hate to ruin the ending for you, so if you insist on watching this abomination despite my warnings, by all means, don’t take my word for it. The ending ruins itself.

I give this film 2 stars, out of respect for Daniel Day-Lewis, and the rest of the cast, as well as the cinematographer and the rest of the crew. At least they tried. Anderson gets 1 star.

Sweeney Todd – Bloody Good (4 Stars)

This is the gruesome and violent depiction of the 19^th century legend Sweeney Todd, adopting its screenplay from the Broadway musical. If you enjoy watching blood spray from people’s throats, this is the film for you. Otherwise, seek out a tamer musical.

The Broadway tunes give you the sense of the man eats man class battle in London, which is a strong theme throughout the film, both figuratively and literally.

The backdrops immerse you in the 19^th century London fog atmosphere, with shots containing heavily polluting factories, depicting a world where London was essentially industrially eating itself. Frankly the whole city looks a bit like the world’s sewer in this film.

Todd himself is particularly well-portrayed in this production by Johnny Depp, who seems to have adopted a flawless Cockney British accent for the role, (though it did remind me a little of his Jack Sparrow character from Pirates.) Helen Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen both also give very good, memorable performances. The three younger performers, though they are quite new, also fare well in this film, considering the high bar set by the other veteran performers. Oh yeah, and Timothy Spall’s character gave me the creeps, so good on him too.

I give this film four stars – It’s worth going out of your way to see once, though it’s not necessarily life-changing, nor is it by any mean’s Burton’s best film.

I think Tim Burton should remake the Batboy Musical. I just thought I’d throw that in there.

Back to the Future – 5 Stars

I figured I’d start with an easy one. Back to the Future has been my favorite film since it first came out in 1985. I was five. Now that I’m perhaps a little more articulate, and have had ample time to see many more movies, it’s time for me to justify why is still consider this film to be the greatest film of all time.

Conceptually, the film is incredibly cool. They made the time machine into a car, a De Lorean DMC-12 to be precise. Part of the premise of the film is that they have to catch a bolt of lightning. How cool is that?

Dr. Emmett L. Brown, played by Christopher Lloyd, is one of the most memorable characters from the 80s. His unwavering ambition, combined with his comedic absent-mindedness makes him a fun bonding character for the protagonist.

The film’s score written by Alan Silvestri and performed by the Outatime Orchestra gives the film that classic 1980s blockbuster feel, which by now, is another form of time travel in its own way.

Of course, a film is nothing without it script, and Back to the Future has a fantastic one. The dialogue, the plot points, the characters, and the overall story will stay with us for generations.

I also try to leave a little leeway in any film review for overall fun. This is the difference between a film which is smartly executed but simply isn’t fun, and one that covers all its bases. Back to the Future is neither a comedy nor a drama, though it abundantly contains both.

The film generated two sequels and a spin-off Saturday morning cartoon series, all of which come highly recommended. It also spawned several video games, none of which are worth mentioning. So we’ll just pretend I didn’t mention them. Damn.

Film Reviews – The Star System

This month, I’m doing a film review per day, and I’m going with the star system. To give you a very quick overview of what I mean when I give a film “X” stars, here’s a short list:

5 Stars: I would use this film as an example for how to use characters, backstory, antagonists, or other plot devices in any screenplay. This film’s acting, cinematography, score and screenplay are truly exemplary. These are the films I could watch again and again.

4½ Stars: I found this film both so entertaining and inspiring that I would actually be willing to watch it again. I’m not one of those people who generally watches things twice, possibly as a matter of pride. I like to think I got it the first time.

4 Stars: This is a film I would recommend that you go out of your way to see at least once. Though I wouldn’t bother watching it again, it still rises above the rest.

3½ Stars: This is an average mark for an average Hollywood film. This is nothing to sneer at either. Films in this category are still respectable, well-written, artfully executed, and generally speaking, fun to watch.

3 Stars: This is where films start to have problems. This film probably has one of the following: Poor acting, or choice of casting, an intrusive, unpleasant or cheesy soundtrack, a tired plot or theme, or clunky, cheesy dialogue.

2½ Stars: This is a pass. The film probably has two of the aforementioned problems.

2 Stars: This is the distinction between pass and fail. This is a failure, but the highest from of failure a film can have, having only three of the aforementioned problems. As they say, “three strikes, you’re out!”

1½ Star(s): This is a terrible film, with many problems, in fact too many for me care to list. Anything in this category and below are films I probably couldn’t even sit through.

1 Star: This film is exemplary in that it’s a list of what not to do in a film.

½ Star: Wow. This film’s existence is an insult to all that is holy in the world of movies. Its dialogue makes me cringe, the story is ridiculous and/or indiscernible, it has the production quality of really bad porn, and the producers of the film should probably have their heads examined, because I can’t imagine how they made any money off their investment.